I Dreamed Two Dreams (One funny, One strange)

I dream a lot. Sadly, I've never received an epiphany of any kind, never received a revelation from God above (Although, that would be amazing). Rather, I dream of the humorous and the strange. I also dream of lesson plans and teaching class; after all, I am an educator. But, that's neither here nor there. Usually, I have these fantastic dreams, but I wake up with amnesia. The only thing I'm left with is the feeling that something really awesome happened while I was comatose, staring at the back of my eyelids. Lately, however, I have had two dreams that I can actually recall: one funny and one strange.

I will begin by sharing the strange one first. I'm going to tell it as if it really happened to me, so don't be alarmed. I'm not crazy, just dreaming.

A lady two doors down from JT and I's townhouse knocks on the door very late at night. She leaves two, tiny pit bull puppies on our doorstep: one is gray and white with blue eyes; the other is tan with green eyes. While JT is still sleeping, I take the puppies and place them in our downstairs bathroom, so I can feed them and wrap them in blankets to keep them warm. I do this knowing that JT has set an animal quota in our house: one dog, one cat. I know that we have met this quota, so I am being very quiet and hoping that the puppies don't whine too loud. (How I thought I was going to keep two needy puppies in our house undetected I'll never know!) Meanwhile, while I'm taking care of the puppies, I hear another knock on the door. I answer it. There at the door is a woman with this ugly little dog on the end of a purple leash. I'm staring at the dog; then I realize it's Ted! (Those of you who have known me since middle school know who Ted is...or was. Ted was a mutt, a Pug-mix. He was brindle, a biter, and had nine lives. He had been run over several times, had a terrible bout with heart worms, and was gunned down with a shotgun and lived to bark about it. He was killed about the sixth time he was hit by a car. This was while I was in high school. I miss him; I loved Ted.) Therefore, you can imagine my surprise when I see him being returned to me, alive, by a neighbor. This was not a nice neighbor, however. Upon seeing that I was overjoyed to be reunited with my long lost, long dead Ted, she decided that she wanted to keep him. The nerve of this woman! We engaged in a tug-of-war of sorts over Ted. But, here is where the dream gets a little more weird. The more we tug on Ted, the less there is of him. That's right; Ted starts to disintegrate in our hands, meaning his doggy flesh is coming off, and he is slowly disappearing. Gross! In the end, none of us got to keep Ted (or what was left of him).

And, like most dreams, this one had no definite conclusion. If I had to pick a moral learned during this dream, it would be this: to let sleeping (or dead) dogs lie.

Now begins the telling of dream number two, the funny dream. You will also be happy to know that this dream is much shorter. Here it goes...

I am a guest on The Ellen DeGeneres Show (This is surprising because I have never watched this show in my life; nevertheless, here I am). Ellen and I, if I may be so familiar with her name, are sitting in her chairs in front of a live studio audience. I don't recall the theme of the show. I really have no idea why I'm there. While I'm getting over the initial shock and questioning why in the world Ellen would want me on her show, I notice something. I'm staring out into the audience and realize that half of them are Alabama fans, wearing crimson and white, and half of them are Auburn fans, wearing orange and blue. "Strange," I think to myself, "I had no idea Ellen was into SEC football. Heck, I had no idea I was into SEC football." I also need to mention that I am decked out in full Auburn University paraphernalia. I'm all Auburn, all orange. I also have a shaker in each hand. Suddenly, I jump up out of my chair, stand in front of the crowd of football fans (all women, actually), and begin chanting Auburn cheers at the top of my lungs. I end this burst of enthusiasm by leading the female throng in a rousing rendition of Auburn's fight song. Ellen even joined in. The Alabama fans were ticked; they started leaving.

That's all I can remember. What is the moral of this dream you may ask? All I can ask you is this: if you discover one, will you please let me know? I'm still scratching my head over that one.

- W:)