Mother's Day Reflection 2014: What I Learned During My First (Full) Year As A Mom

I wrote a reflection post last year when Charlie was barely 5 months old and was still in a relatively low-maintenance phase of babyness (meaning he wasn't yet free-thinking or mobile), so at the time of that post, I was still absorbed in the love bubble of new mommy hood. Around the time Charlie turned 10 months old, however, that bubble burst (and I'm not saying that's a bad thing - just that a whole lot of change starting taking place at once). Gone were the days of cleaning house and accomplishing other necessary tasks during his daily 4-hour nap. Gone...gone...gone...so gone. At 10 months old, Charlie (finally) started crawling; and while I was so excited for him to reach this baby milestone, I wasn't prepared for what babies are capable of when they weren't - well - immovable little blobs who only ate, slept, and made messes in diapers. Because of my new mom ignorance, he fell off my bed and the couch multiple times (and lived to tell about it). My precious little lump of life now required constant supervision, napped a lot less (sometimes not at all), and morphed into the world's most unpleasant dining companion. This is also around the time that JT and I realized that, while Chuck was only one baby, we needed lots and lots of help; especially since we found out I was expecting another baby and was dealing with bouts of terrible fatigue and morning (all-day) sickness.

Baby Hornbuckle #2: It's another boy!

Each month or phase in a baby's life that passes requires the parents to make more changes, undergo more transformations, make more sacrifices, and seek out more advice and assistance (Although, my brother blames all the additional family assistance on the surprise of baby Hornbuckle #2.). With that said, I have no idea what I'd do without the help of family, friends, and volunteers when it comes to the never-ending care taking of my sweet Charlie. I know people do it every day - single parenting, parenting without grandparents, without friends to help - but I don't recommend it, and I'm so thankful for each and every person who helps (and will continue to help) with the upbringing of Charlie and soon-to-arrive James Tyler.

FACT: It takes an entire team to take one baby to the beach. 

Let the shout-outs begin...

Thank you to all my family members!

• To JT for being the most hard-working dad and supportive husband, for bringing Charlie souvenirs from all the ball parks you visit, for taking him to Easter egg hunts and teaching him to search for "balls", for teaching him how to throw (with pretty good accuracy) all the balls around our house, for buying him cool toys, for being "mom" every Sunday morning, for having a never-ending supply of patience...for everything you do for us. 
• To Mom and Dad for loving Charlie with all your hearts and for letting him spend the night all the time, for taking him to swim lessons and on bike rides, for taking him on vacation to the beach and digging in the sand, for caring for him when he's sick, for taking him to baseball (and softball) games, for teaching him and singing to him, for being amazing grandparents in general by always being available and by creating special memories with him. 
• To Mandy for stopping by almost every day to spend time with Charlie and for giving me a few minutes to myself to clean or do laundry, for teaching him new words and "tricks", for laughing and being silly with him, for taking him to the beach, for being a great Great Aunt. 
• To Donnie and Sherry for caring for him when he's sick and letting me recuperate at home, for sitting in the floor and playing with him for hours, for taking him to feed ducks, for teaching him about cars and trucks, and for loving him so so much. 
• To Hunter and Kelsey for being brave enough to take Charlie out to eat with y'all on Friday nights, for over-night babysitting, for helping teach him to walk, and for wanting him to be "sporty" and tough. 
• To Maw Maw for making sure that if he only ever learned one word, it would be your name. Congrats, he says it with perfect clarity. 
• To Grandmama for covering Charlie in prayer and love each and every day and for riding him around on your walker. 
• To Clay and Dianne for always bringing Charlie the best toys and books. 

...and to all of you for changing countless diapers, bath times, wiping his runny nose, and boosting his self-esteem by loving him extravagantly. 

BayCC Easter Egg Hunt 2014

Thank you to all my friends (you know who you are) who still want to hangout with me even though I may occasionally want to talk about "baby stuff" or being pregnant...again. What impresses me most about my friends is how much they genuinely love Charlie, which makes me so happy. They are freely giving of their time, talents, and love. Thank you for keeping us around.

Thank you to my ladies FUSION group for being kind enough to tolerate the occasional intrusion of a baby (and a male one at that) into our small group Bible study on Tuesday nights. Y'all were always so helpful and sweet to my Charlie. You're the best! 

Thank you to all the BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and childcare volunteers at Bay Community Church who have dedicated your Thursday and Sunday mornings to the care of children, Charlie in particular. I so much appreciate you loving on, singing to, and praying over my little man. You will be so blessed for ministering to God's little ones. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has given us hand-me-downs - clothing, toys, etc. You have made our lives so much easier and budget-friendly with each and every generous donation. Thanks for thinking of us!

Here's a special shout out to anyone who has ever helped me push Charlie in the jogging stroller (i.e., hell on wheels) and lightened my burden for a mile or so. I only hope you're as willing to help when we roll out in the double jogger. (Don't everyone volunteer at once.)

Warning: Not as easy or fun as it looks (for the one pushing it)!

Moving on...

But first, if I've forgotten to thank anyone, then I am truly sorry. I'll blame that blunder on "pregnancy brain" for now. It may be my last chance for that. 

While I love spending one-on-one time with my precious Charlie and am grateful beyond words for the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom, I do NOT want to be the sole caretaker of my children. God has placed too many wonderful people in my life not to share them, and I want them and their wisdom to rub off on my two little men. More than ever, I am aware that I'm only a limited supply of what my boys will need to grow into well-rounded, godly human beings, and I'm OK with that. I get so much joy from seeing other people pour their life experience, wisdom, quirks, personalities, time, prayers, etc. into Charlie; and I love that he receives a piece of each of them. I will always be grateful for love bestowed on my children and that others see their worth as much as I do.

Grandparents playing in the sand

A great, great grandmother's love

A little advice (take it or leave it): 

If someone is willing to babysit your child and you are willing to let them, do NOT hand over a list of instructions/demands for their care in your absence. Whether typed, handwritten or in calligraphy, your micromanaging skills will NOT be appreciated (and you may get a "NO" the next time you ask for help). You either trust someone to care for your child or you don't. Chances are, if they have grown children of their own, they can keep a child alive long enough for you to go to dinner and a movie. 

Let grandparents be grandparents. They may feed your child chocolate candy and carbonated drinks for dinner, but so what. It's their time to be fun and carefree in the world of child-rearing. Don't be a "baby Nazi" and steal all their joy by pretending you're a better parent than they were. And NEVER treat them like they don't know what they're doing; that's a slap in the face if there ever was one. 

Don't have a baby and become a hermit. Your child needs socialization as much as you do, so continue to go to church, Bible study, book club, exercise class, Girls' Night, etc. And if childcare is available, so much the better! Be grateful for adult interaction and for the opportunity for your child to meet and play with other children. It's good for you, and it's good for them. And if they happen to get a runny nose in the process, so be it. A little snot is a small price to pay for keeping your sanity in check. 

Easter 2014

On a more serious note...

More than anything else, motherhood has brought me closer to God and has strengthened my desire to have a more intimate relationship with Him. The Lord has used motherhood to teach me so many things about myself - both strengths and weaknesses - and has used it as a vehicle to cultivate in me feelings, ideas, and desires I didn't know I had or was capable of. There's something about being a mom that has enabled me to empathize more with others, to want to reach out and help the hurting and needy, and to love others in a different way, more strongly, I guess. My perspective has been broadened from a personal circle to more of a global mindset, and the Lord has begun to develop in me a passion for helping women and mothers across the globe through various means. I have no idea where these passions and yearnings will lead, but I am so thankful for the dreams God has instilled in me since I became a mom; and I'm excited to see how He will use me in the lives of my children and in the lives of others. More than ever, I'm grateful for God's love, His sacrificing His only Son to give hope and life to all, and His allowing us to become His children and heirs with Jesus. I don't understand it all, and I remain overwhelmed at His love despite my childlike disobedience and many failings. I am so glad that I have God as my ultimate model of what it means to be a parent and to love. I'm also glad that I don't have to do it in my own power (because that would be a disaster). So thankful for the truth and guidance for parenting and life God provides in Proverbs 3:1-33...

Trusting in the LORD

1My child,^a never forget the things I have taught you.

Store my commands in your heart.

2If you do this, you will live many years,

and your life will be satisfying.

3Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!

Tie them around your neck as a reminder.

Write them deep within your heart.

4Then you will find favor with both God and people,

and you will earn a good reputation.

5Trust in the LORD with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

6Seek his will in all you do,

and he will show you which path to take.

7Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.

Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil.

8Then you will have healing for your body

and strength for your bones.

9Honor the LORD with your wealth

and with the best part of everything you produce.

10Then he will fill your barns with grain,

and your vats will overflow with good wine.

11My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline,

and don’t be upset when he corrects you.

12For the LORD corrects those he loves,

just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.^b

13Joyful is the person who finds wisdom,

the one who gains understanding.

14For wisdom is more profitable than silver,

and her wages are better than gold.

15Wisdom is more precious than rubies;

nothing you desire can compare with her.

16She offers you long life in her right hand,

and riches and honor in her left.

17She will guide you down delightful paths;

all her ways are satisfying.

18Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her;

happy are those who hold her tightly.

19By wisdom the LORD founded the earth;

by understanding he created the heavens.

20By his knowledge the deep fountains of the earth burst forth,

and the dew settles beneath the night sky.

21My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment.

Hang on to them,

22for they will refresh your soul.

They are like jewels on a necklace.

23They keep you safe on your way,

and your feet will not stumble.

24You can go to bed without fear;

you will lie down and sleep soundly.

25You need not be afraid of sudden disaster

or the destruction that comes upon the wicked,

26for the LORD is your security.

He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.

27Do not withhold good from those who deserve it

when it’s in your power to help them.

28If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say,

“Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you.”

29Don’t plot harm against your neighbor,

for those who live nearby trust you.

30Don’t pick a fight without reason,

when no one has done you harm.

31Don’t envy violent people

or copy their ways.

32Such wicked people are detestable to the LORD,

but he offers his friendship to the godly.

33The LORD curses the house of the wicked,

but he blesses the home of the upright.